The watchman's Blog

Psalm 130
A song of ascents.

1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;
2 O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

3 If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?

4 But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.

5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

6 My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

7 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

8 He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

So this blog is just me. i don't promise to always keep it regular but rather it will be my thoughts as they come. I think that it will probably get to be a regular thing though as I explore God in His Word more and more....

A day with Clive

XV. Dungeon Grates

So piteously the lonely soul of man

Shudders before this universal plan,

So grievous is the burden adm the pain,

So heavy weighs the lon, material chain

From cause to cause, too merciless for hate,

The nightmare march of unrelenting fate,

I think that he must die thereof unless

Ever and again across the dreariness

There came a sudden glimpse of spirit faces,

A fragrant breath to tell of the flowery places

And wider oceans, breaking on the shore

From which the hearts of men are always sore.

It lies beyond endeavour; neither prayer

Nor fasting, nor much wisdom winneth here,

Seeing how many prophets and wise men

Have sought for it and still returned again

With hope undone.  But only the strange power

Of unsought Beauty in some casual hour

Can build a bridge of light or sound or form

To lead you out of all this strife and storm;

When of some beauty we are grown a part

Till from its very glory’s midmost heart

Out leaps a sudden beam of larger light

Into our souls. All things are seen aright

amid the blinding pillar of its gold,

Seven times more true than what for truth we hold

In vulgar hours, The miracle is done

And for one little moment we are one

With the eternal stream of loveliness

That flows so calm, aloft from all distress

Yet leaps and lives around us as a fire

Making us faint with overstrong desire

To sport and swim for ever in its deep—

Only for a moment.

O! but we shall keep

Our vision still. One moment was enough,

We know we are not made of mortal stuff.

And we can bear all trials that come after,

The hate of men and the fool’s loud bestial laughter

And Nature’s rule and cruelties unclean,

For we have seen the Glory-we have seen.

Unsearchable things…

It is the glory of God to conceal things, 

but the glory of kings is to search things out.

He has immeasurable use for each thing that is made, that His love adn splendor may flow forth like a strong river which has need of a great watercourse and fills alike the deep pools and the little crannies, that are filled equally and remain unequal, and when it has filled them brim full it flows over and makes new channels.  We also have need beyond measure of all that He has made.  Love me, my brothers, for I am infinitely necessary to you and for your delight I was made. Blessed be He!

He has no need at all of anything that is made.  An angel is not more needful to Him than a grain of the Dust: a peopled world is not more needful than a world that is empty: but all  needless alike, and what all add to Him is nothing.  We also have no need of anything that is made.  Love me, my brothers, for I am infinitely superfluous, and your love shall be like His, born neither of your need nor of my deserving, but a plain bounty.  Blessed be He!

All things are by Him and for Him.  He utters Himself also for His own delight and sees that He is good.  He is His own begotten and what proceeds from Him is Himself. Blessed be He!


"My son, eat honey, for it is good, and the drippings of the honeycomb are sweet to your taste.  Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, your hope will not be cut off."

In that day…(a dialogue from Isaiah)

we will NOT say,

I trusted Him and lost all

I trusted in Him too much

I sacrificed too much

I cried out and He didn’t hear me

We will say,

Surely this is our God;

we trusted in Him, and He saved us.

This is the Lord, we trusted in Him;

let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.

You, Lord, will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.  He humbles those who dwell on high.

My soul yearns for You in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not consume you.  

If You, O LORD kept a record of sin, who could stand against You?

I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.  They will spring up like grass in the meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.  One will say, “I belong to the Lord”; another will call himself by the name of Jacob; still another will write on his hand, “The LORD’s,” and will take the name Israel.

Your wisdom and knowledge mislead you when you say to yourself, “I am, and there is none besides me.”

For My own name’s sake I delay My wrath; for the sake of My praise I hold it back from you, so as not to cut you off.  See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.  For My own sake, for My own sake, I do this.  How can I let Myself be defamed?  I will not yield my glory to another.  I am God, and there is no other; I am God and there is none like me. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.  Before me every knee will bow; by Me every tongue will swear.  They will say of Me, “In the LORD alone are righteousness and strength.”

could all that is lost ever be found? could a garden come out of this ground at all?

You make beautiful things….

more than the watchman, Lord


there are few things quite as stunningly full of joy as the moment when a baby finds his voice.  For the first few months, yes, they cry but from instinct.  But the moment they become conscious of the sounds they are capable of making and begin to intend to make them is the moment that our human existence is revealed to be far more intricate and beautiful and the creativity of God in His creative sovereignty more incomprehensible.  Surely we are fearfully and wonderfully made. That a babe would develop the consciousness to speak, the will to make a noise, points to a Creator who does not stop at the utilitarian or the purely useful but at the whimsical and joyful and pleasurable.

Devoted to prayer

This morning is just another morning in a long line of mornings where I have woken up to a reality that frustrates and discourages me. This Is not to be taken as the woes of an angsty child with self-image or self-worth issues. By the grace of God, my identity is in Him as His beloved and I was counted as being worth the death of His Son on the cross. But this life is never lacking in discouragements and surely the devil is biting at my heels as I run to the Father even now for protection and security.
The team of staff at UCLA with Cru has seen God work in mighty ways in the last two weeks. I am blown away by how beautifully and powerfully He has called people to Himself for salvation and has put in their heart a passion for His Word and for the Gospel. I mentioned in a prayer email last week how we must be on our guard, we must arm ourselves with every spiritual armor because we are fighting a war and attacking the stronghold of Satan when we approach people to pray for them, to share with them the good new that Christ died for them and defeated death for them in order that they too might be called a child of God.
Yesterday, my girlfriend went out onto campus with another girl to engage people in spiritual conversations and pray for them. The Holy Spirit laid it on their heart two different times to pray for specific people that passed them on campus…both were encounters with people who refused to be prayed for and even left them a little disconcerted. She told me later that she thought they were demon-possessed. It may be weird to read, weird to hear, and weird to talk about—spiritual warfare—but it is ever-present, often more obvious than we care to admit.
This morning was another day of personal spiritual warfare. My Father in heaven desires that I be dependent on Him and be patient and to have strong faith. In the last several year, He has been faithful to use finances to get my attention and to convict me of the truth that all things come from Him and ought to be used for His glory. Now I am convinced that Satam is using finances to distract me, to take my attention off of Hod’s wonderful provision and place my focus on light and momentary afflictions of this world.
When I was finally hired onto the staff of Cru (almost a whole month late), I had missed two pay periods and a month of rent. I was not going to be eligible for a paycheck until October 10th. So I filed a reimbursement for my ministry expenses over the summer thuat would provide me with the money I needed to pay September rent. That reimbursement was filed almost three weeks ago. I have not heard anything back from the reimbursement department despite emails and phone calls nor have I received the reimbursement or anything from Cru in the mail regarding it.
So, please, be praying for this spiritual attack to end, for God to provide the money I need to pay rent and other bills, and that I would continue to trust in Hi timing and His plan for my finances.

"Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of You, ‘Seek His face!’. Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide Your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; You have been my helper. Do not reject or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me Your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. I am still confident of this: iw I’ll see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lorx; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." —Psalm 27:7-14

Reblogged from taste-see-enjoy

Prayer and Support Raising

Good morning prayer partners!Happy Labor Day.  I have decided to indeed labor today and clean my car, change the oil, do some yardwork, etc.  But I am also laboring hard to raise support today, making phone calls and writing emails, not my favorite thing to do in the world but I do it nonetheless because of the reward of hardwork and perseverence—growing faith and experiencing the Lord’s faithfulness.This morning I woke up bright and early to take my little brother to football practice at 7:30…not exactly what I wanted to do on a holiday morning.  But it got me out of the house and over to Starbucks at 7:45 for some quiet time with the Lord, some journaling, and even some sketching ( and Psalm I read this morning was Psalm 92.  Verses 1-5 stuck out to me:1 It is good to praise the LORD 
   and make music to your name, O Most High, 
2 proclaiming your love in the morning 
   and your faithfulness at night, 
3 to the music of the ten-stringed lyre 
   and the melody of the harp. 4 For you make me glad by your deeds, LORD; 
   I sing for joy at what your hands have done. 
5 How great are your works, LORD, 
   how profound your thoughts! Last night I had the opportunity to describe some of my feelings about the support process to some friends and it was good to verbally process it.  There is no way that I can talk about this summer and bring glory to myself or to the works of my hands.  At every turn, my weakness, my pride, my unbelief and finite understanding burst through the seams of the story of this summer.  Yet just as much as I am made small, my heavenly Father is magnified; His strength, His faithfulness, His PATIENCE, His provision, His omniscience and sovereignty are overwhelming.  Some have said of the support-raising process that it is “soul-crushing”.  There are days that it feels like that.  But, in looking back at everything God has brought me through in the last several years, I can only say that this process is sanctifying….in the “take up your cross” sorta way, in the “refined by fire” sorta way.  It is the kind of process that brought me to the end of myself often, beyond all my abilities and imaginations to the point where I had to approach my Father with humility and ask for help. And help will most certainly be given.Support continues to trickle in and I take it as a sign of God’s continuing support of this endeavor.  I felt attacked with doubt, anxiety, apathy, and a number of distractions yesterday but found comfort in the story of Nehemiah.  The rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem was insulting and threatening to foreign nations.  So the Israelites enemies attempted to frustrate the work by derision, threats and shows of force, taunts and insults.  The work of building up the kingdom at UCLA is insulting and threatening to Satan and he is attempting to bring it down, to frustrate the work.  I feel honored that I must endure his attacks because it means that God is on my side. I must do the work with one hand while carrying the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God in my other hand.Please pray with me against the schemes of the devil.  Please pray with me that God would bring in my support quickly so that I can join my team and help plan our outreaches for the first couple weeks of school. Please pray that God would be preparing the students involved in Cru to share their stories of God’s love and faithfulness with the new students that are coming to UCLA this Fall.  Pray that God would be preparing students to hear the Gospel and receive His promises.  Thank you, friends, for your references that you have given me :) Thank you for your financial support.  Thank you SO MUCH for your prayers :) God hears them all and is pleased to respond to them according to His good and gracious will. Please keep the references coming! Every name, phone number, and email helps and each is a new partner in prayer over the ministry at UCLA.  If you would like to support me, you can do so by clicking this link —>"Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. […] May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The One who calls you is FAITHFUL and He will do it" (1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18, 23-24).
In Christ,Patrick CarderCru, UCLA(818) 470-5994